just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
