Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
