if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
