I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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