I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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