I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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