I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize