i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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