$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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