my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Are we in a gay sports bar?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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