T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
