Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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