By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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