the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
we're so committed to being not committed
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
