Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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