You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
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True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
dude. I can hear the air.
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