Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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