Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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