im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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