So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
