He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
