I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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