whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
