You're so nebulous sometimes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
