We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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