it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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