the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
