Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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