I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
