So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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