so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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