i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
