My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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