so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize