I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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