I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
