K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
