I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
