he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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