u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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