Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
