I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
