All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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