Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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