Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
