He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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