Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.