We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend