Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
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well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
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Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?