Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.