so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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