Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
