I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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