Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
