well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
