how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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