Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
