If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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