I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
