You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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