I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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