i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
